I suppose this should’ve been saved for a year or two later, or for the New Year, but I think it won’t hurt to say it now. It’s been indeed a wild and bumpy ride… though I can’t pinpoint the exact date or an estimate when I started out as an online artist, the earliest ones that I know were made and posted in mid 2014, I only know it started out even earlier, 2011 or 2012… with unrecoverable “works” lost to time. But a lot of stuff has happened, including the conception of what is now called Tailian Chronicles and its semi-halt as of today, the Russian Joey Drew story with me still playing the role of Henry in it, including the “fake Henry” part from The Dark Revival, the official death of DeviantArt earlier this month… meeting people and then burning bridges with them after some conflicts… I know that in the latter, most of these are indeed my fault, but let’s not talk about that here, I’d like to summarize better things in my journey) 

All this has brought me to a thought that I have changed… Can’t say whether it was for the best or the worst, that’s up to you to decide. I still remember the years I was being so naive and agreeing to any affair, without realizing they aren’t achievable neither by one person nor under someone who uses people for his own success. Now I feel more edgy and robotic, though I still want to work on more of that cute and sexy stuff many of you like, yet at the same time, I just don’t feel like caring about people who surround me. The current conflicts or the news they blindly believe are not the reason for that, I have other reasons to despise and even hate people even as close as my family. Do I even have to mention when some people I considered friends would do a disservice at some point… And still, even if I’m not as comfortable in most of the others’ communities anymore, there are still amazing friends I have made in the last few years, and I’m very grateful for them keeping me company during the worst times, being always wonderful and great to talk to) And at the same time, I know that I’m no longer the person I was even a year ago, well, mostly. 

Yeah, we know past experiences are a great learning curve, like fuck around and find out) That’s exactly how I got to where I am today. You might’ve read my thoughts on that before on FA and the now forever removed DA journals, making a movie all alone was never an easy task) Especially something copyrighted by someone other than us, or under a creep of a producer. Which is why I’m back at the small artist stage, having found the style I’m the most comfortable with, except for sanics yet, and still having big projects on hold mostly. I would say one thing about this, fuck Russia and everything it’s doing, and I believe misinformation to our people at these moments was and will be one of our greatest crimes, else we could’ve stopped the war during last December’s training. Now, though, all I want is peace, so it won’t be as risky to work on those projects, and us artists can stay afloat financially once again. At the same time, there’s one small thing in one of those projects that I still work on, specifically, I’m kinda trying to come up with the best underlying conflict for Tailian Chronicles just so it’ll be even less risky to even tell that story, but the meaning stays the same… I was kind of out of ideas until just recently, yet, as much as I want to write about illegal wars and what’s going on at either sides of the ongoing conflict, I know how risky it would be to actually reflect real world events as they are, or even twisted... My intentions were to tackle the themes I’m the most familiar with, including betrayal and deception, and the current ideas I have at the moment might fit this specific bill, yet I’m afraid the story I wanted just a few months ago might not cut it) Plus, I’d like to make it a little simpler for the first major arc, while all the new lore points can be conformed to the new plot very easily.

And yes, I know it’s been going on for years now. Since 2015 when I got the very first ideas for the project, there have been many iterations of the story I wanted to tell in it at different times, had to nerf the characters’ powers, reconsider their backstories several times, and choose the goals… there were so many story goals until I picked one theme, for which so far all I need is the in-between events while I have the beginning and the end in mind. Honestly, I don’t want the project to feel as disconnected between chapters, I’ve seen a few bad examples of writing the first and last parts and jumping into production straight away) Besides, some preproduction, choosing a visual style for both the comic and its advertisements, modeling backgrounds for reference… And yet, the production phase will be postponed until things get back to their usual pre-2014 order completely. Maybe except for certain payment methods, judging by what I heard)

Artist work aside, I can’t say I’m as happy and joyous as I was 10 years ago anymore. As a human, I mean, not as an artist) All this time, I’ve been learning on most of my mistakes, experimenting, meeting highly questionable people and actually good friends… feeling betrayed by my very home and its propaganda… unable to send any cash to support developers and other artists, which drives many people to piracy once again… I no longer feel as excited about anything in life anymore. Drawing still brings me a few small sparks of joy, no matter if I draw something cute, horny, or to vent about. As long as I have the mood, that is, and it’s often ruined, even now, just like this Spring. It’s always fun creating something for all of you that I’ve been missing for so long, but at the same time, in reality, I feel like a broken, unfixable machine that craves destruction on the skin bastards who surround me for thousands of miles from my home… 

This evening by Moscow time, or about midday by Pacific time, marks 27 years since this machine that I am was assembled and first booted. And it is the unhappiest birthday, or should I say assembly day, that I had yet. So much shit has happened this year, and I know that tomorrow, it may get even worse, so much as to destroy one’s creative spirit completely. Hopefully, though, we’ll be able to endure and live to the day this is over, and the men actually behind these events are either shot or imprisoned, of course, you all know who I mean. Hope I will remain able to continue drawing now and then, I know some of you are very happy to see me draw and upload my works in recent years) 

Also, I’m about to open 10 new commission slots in just a few hours, as long as Boosty is able to keep transferring money from overseas) I only wonder if anyone is interested in additional content, even though Boosty’s settings are janky and refuse to save the adult content switch for long (other than that, it may be safe to use as a Patreon alternative), and I don’t exactly know what to stream if you’d like me to… plus, I have some concerns against Picarto, although I am already aware of alternatives. You can suggest something if you have ideas for this additional content. But, as usual, everything will be uploaded on Twitter, as long as it still stands after the recent events, as well as FurAffinity and Newgrounds. No more DeviantArt, unfortunately, nor will I ever allow my works to be uploaded anywhere near DeviantArt anymore. Instead, I have plans to start using the accounts on Pillowfort and Itaku that I reserved just in case. If anyone wants a Telegram channel or a Discord server instead, I can make one of those, too) Other than that, let’s just hope I won’t stop drawing for too long, and I wish us all good luck in this nightmare)

P.S. Regarding commissions, I already have to put up a few restrictions on what I draw, and I feel I’ve got to explain those upcoming changes. Specifically, I’m actually done with Sonic art for now, unless I will find a style I’m actually able to be comfortable with, mimicking others’ styles and trying to draw anything more or less canonically always ends up terrible) And until I’m no longer as tired of seeing Sonic characters at all, recent games both by SEGA and some of the fans have brought nothing but pain to me as a fan, a player, and a Japanese Sonic lore nerd. Frontiers is yet to get me hooked as of now, it’s a real pain to play it right now, I can only have a taste of the Switch port. Keep in mind, though, that this is temporary. However, I’m still willing to bring back Nintendo-related art, as you might’ve noticed by that yet unnamed Glaceon doing the Sad Cat Dance meme, maybe she might also become a more or less regular fan character to be drawn occasionally) Characters and species from most other Nintendo games, not only Pokémon, are also accepted, as long as I don’t have to focus on ferals (they’re fine in SFW works, though) or draw humans much… say whatever you want, I never really liked how I draw human faces. I don’t say no, though, just know that it’s a matter of taste, you may like it, while I often have a hard time getting a human face right)